Christmas Survival 1.0.1
December 13, 2018
The kids woke you up at 5am for Santa sacks, Mum is stressed in the kitchen making sure the food ( enough for 3 times the people attending) is cooked like Nigella would do, Granddad is already outside marinading his 80 year old skin in the sun, the teenagers have rolled their eyes 100 times already due to forced family interaction and your credit card bill is due to arrive in 10 days. Welcome to the happiest time of the year ……… Christmas!
Here are our 15 Tips to get you through Christmas 2019!
1 - Listen to Michael Bubles Christmas album on repeat and smile. 1 day a year wont hurt anyone.
2 – Tell the Cook the food was the best Christmas dinner yet – no matter the reality. Make special mention of the 1 random thing they didn’t need to do but did anyway because they are tired of cooking the same Christmas meal for 35 years running.
3 – Wear the Christmas hat
4 – Skip the Queen’s speech
5 – Invest in a solid hours practice of “this is just what I wanted” face
6 - Avoid discolsing Santa’s identity to any small children
7 – If your not in a food coma by 3pm, keep eating your doing it wrong
8 - Buy yourself a present – youll know you have at least 1 gift you actually want
9 - Keep Nan’s sherry full
10 – Don’t be the person who has their thumb on the wick of all the Christmas crackers. You didn’t win, you cheated.
11 – Avoid playing Manopoly
12 – Don’t ask people “where did the year go” , they already know you’ve got nothing to talk about
13 – Don’t leave the Christmas tree up through January
14 – Accept your about to pile on the pounds
15 – Dont arrange 50 social catch ups only to wish you were lying on the couch relaxing through your one holiday a year